Top 10 Sexiest Poker Players of 2009
It's that time of the year again - when Gambling911.com's Jenny Woo selects her Top 10 Sexiest Poker Players. Last year's sexiest poker players can be found by clicking here.
Due to the adult nature of this list, Gambling911.com advises anyone under the age of 21 to step away from the computer immediately.
Let's get down to business with Jenny Woo's Top 10 Sexiest Poker Players of 2009.
#10 - David Williams
Hey David, Joan Rivers called.
She wants her girdle back!
When Celebrity Apprentice winner Joan Rivers referred to poker players as "lower than white trash", the entire poker community was up in arms. David, however, broke his wrist he was so worked up over Rivers!!!!!
David wouldn't have made my list had he not been a granny sex loving nympho who was videotaped sucking on an old woman's toes while fully naked and erect and more giddy than I've ever seen a guy during foreplay. I mean, really, what girl wouldn't be turned on by THAT?
"You got an *** that commands to be worshipped," Williams is heard saying in the infamous porn flick starring hot 40 plus year old Janet Mason. Williams was no older than 24 when the video was filmed.
Model Aubrey O'Day broke up with David after learning of his foot fetish. What's wrong with you girl? She sat down with her family to watch the salacious video David starred in. Huh? Her family? WTF?
Foot fetishism is a pronounced fetishistic sexual interest in human feet. This paraphilia is also called podophilia. It is also one of the most common fetishes in males specially when combined with female domination. In David's case, he prefers them soft, wrinkly and attached to a much older lady, someone like Joan Rivers perhaps.
David is not as weird as one might first think. There are after all much "stranger" fetishes. Here are some of the more bizarre one's.
Amputee fetishism
Diaper Fetishism
Furry fetishism/Toonophilia (individuals who have sex with sports team mascots)
Infantilism
Medical fetishism
Stocking fetishism
Swimcap fetishism
Transvestic fetishism (Gambling911.com's own Sparky Collins)
While all of Annie's friends in the poker world were rushing to her defense, blasting Joan for the remarks she made against Annie (Rivers called her Hitler) on Celebrity Apprentice, David said nada. Perhaps he was working hard to get on QVC with Joan to sell some of his many unwanted 20 karat gold necklaces and other bling items, but with the ulterior motive of getting some nice firm (plastic surgeon enhanced) Joan Rivers whoopie cakes. Speaking of Annie Duke, she's practically a cougar herself (though of course she looks so much younger). Just keep Annie away from your gold fillings David!
#8 Phil Hellmuth
What makes Phil Hellmuth sexy is his self-confidence and brash disposition. I know he's a really nice guy....away from the tables.
At least egotistical people do not talk about others either....They just shout at them.
Perhaps nothing was more hotter this year than Phil Hellmuth letting loose with the Moose (Moosehead Beer that is) and drinking himself silly....all while recording the experience via Twitter.
Phil_Hellmuth on twitter: I am drinking tonight, in fact way too much! Maybe 6 total shots in 5 hours. Just landed in bay area...
I have never had a drinking problem, never. But here i am having another beer! Moosehead Beer is good! Thats 6 in 6 hours.
Called Layne Flack to tell him to tell me to stop drinking! But he said, ‘U have everything, enjoy yourself.' Opening another Moosehead (such surprising advice coming from Layne)
What the F@&/k is going on here? 7 drinks in 6 hours, and i just cracked another Moosehead...Watching ‘Supertramp' on youtube at home
I am Dissapointed in myself...8 drinks in 6 and 30 mins. And I want more! F it, opening 1 more Moosehead!!
I guess I will have a hangover, just finishing 9 drinks in 7 hours! Listening to Beatles ‘Something in the way she moves' on youtube
9 drinks down in 7 hours...Trying Red Tail Ale, yuck! Michelob, pass. Blue Moon Rasberry Cream, horrible!!
Ok, completely wasted now. Listening to Beatles ‘Strawberry Fields' and opening a bottle of Innskillin ‘Vidal' pouring a glass.
Listening to Beatles ‘I am the walrus' by myself while drinking number 10 drink...Embarassed to drink so much!! Help!
I am so drunk I cannot lose!!!! Going to play high stakes limit Hold'em at UB now!!
Lost 16k at no limit
Now throwing my cell phone accross my desk in disgust...And still drinking...12 down, i hate alcohol...
I swear Twitter must be Satan in disguise. Tisk tisk.
#9 Tiffany Michelle
Yet another blonde makes my list of the hottest poker players of 2009. What a surprise!
Tiffany admits to not reading Gambling911.com because she doesn't have the number "11" key on her keyboard and can't type the URL into her browser. Bummer!
I kid you not when I say this girl appeared on a television show as herself called "This Hour Has 22 Minutes". The running time was 23 minutes. Can we confuse the blondes any more? Probably! Let's have some more fun with numbers. Blondes go crazy with numbers.
Tiffany was the LAST girl standing at the 2008 World Series of Poker, finishing 17th, which, for all you blondes out there, means she finished among the TOP 15, but in the bottom tier and was the FIRST place finisher among the women. Our blonde readers are probably asking themselves right about now: "Why didn't they give Tiffany a chair?"
Tiffany also managed to draw quite a bit of controversy along the way.
Poker News claimed that Tiffany "betrayed them" by taking part in the WSOP representing Poker News as one of that site's star reporters. Instead, Tiffany began to don online poker room gear.
This would be like Yours Truly playing in the World Series of Poker and ripping off all my Gambling911.com gear, including that very tiny tight top, and throwing Doyle Brunson over my breasts.
Speaking of outfits, we hear Tiffany is going all out this year. F*** the UltimateBet.com hats and shirts!!! Gambling911 spies report that Tiffany has been on quite the shopping spree now that she's amassed a fortune playing poker - Neiman Marcus didn't quite have the shoes she wanted so Tiffany hopped a plane - first class - to Louisiana, intent on getting herself a pair of genuine alligator shoes.
But even a woman with the kind of money Tiffany now has didn't want to spend the ridiculous prices the shops were asking, so she told one of the shopkeepers: "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
Remember, this was the top finishing woman at last year's WSOP...a tough gal indeed!
Tiffany headed out to the swamp and actually managed to hunt down a few alligators, including a 9-foot monster.
But amazingly, she flew back home empty-handed.
When her friends asked why she didn't return with any genuine alligator shoes after catching seven of the scaly reptiles, Tiffany responded:
"Because none of them were wearing any f***ing shoes!"
Jenny Woo, Gambling911.com Senior International Correspondent
