Top 10 Sexiest Politicians of 2008 - Courtesy of Jenny Woo
Who are Jenny Woo’s Top 10 Sexiest Politicians of 2008? The red hot Gambling911.com reporter breaks down her list. God, let's hope this list doesn't make the pages of Politico.com.
Sarah Palin - Before being selected as Republican Presidential candidate John McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin was the Mayor of tiny Wasilla, Alaska, whose most famous citizens prior to Palin bursting onto the scene were April Flowers, a hardcore porn star who has appeared in over 100 films including Dead Men Don't Wear Rubbers, and Mahala Ashley Dickerson, Alaska's first African-American lawyer. Palin is living every lady's American dream. She lives in a state that is over 75 percent populated by men and has gone from small town sports caster to mayor to governor of Alaska to Republican US Presidential running mate. Should the trend continue, Ms. Palin will be our next President. Our Senior Editor, Payton O'Brien, just loves the prospect of this happening. ........... NOT!
Palin has been described as a woman with a sort of "naughty librarian vibe" mostly because of those glasses that I'm guessing have already done wonders for the Optician industry. Suddenly, we have a bunch of women with 20/20 vision buying glasses. Something else super hot about Sarah Palin - she already has an action figure in her likeness. The school girl Sarah Palin action figure is the best of all. Young Sarah also won the Miss Wasilla Pageant in 1984, a feat that sounds a lot more impressive than it is unless you've ever met a girl from Wasilla, few of whom have either a full set of teeth or a vacant womb, according to Dickipedia.org.
She's a self-described pit bull with lipstick. Just what we're all looking for in a Vice Presidential candidate. Odd description considering she's downright "mean" to animals. Bullwinkle, Bambi, those poor wolves and polar bears. I mean WTF is the ASPCA when you need them? She makes Michael Vick look like the male equivalent of Brigitte Bardot for God's sake.
Jimmy Kimmel said it best: She's not bad looking. She looks like one of those women in the Van Halen videos who takes off her glasses, shakes out her hair, and then all of a sudden, she's in high heels and a bikini. All of a sudden, I am FOR drilling in Alaska."
How can you tell if Sarah Palin is being drilled by another guy? - Earmarks.
Spencer Thomas Bachus, III - Dead set against online gambling for no reason other than it is "morally not acceptable" and "dangerous to minors". Perhaps his most well known quote on the subject of online gambling: "One click of the mouse, you lose your house".
He has also said - and this one went right over my head - "There have been studies by Harvard University, University of Pennsylvania, McGill University in Canada, American Psychiatric Association - all of these say the younger someone starts gambling, the more likelihood that they become a compulsive gambler. Addicted to gambling, just like addicted to drugs. So there is a correlation between drug dealers and gambling sites."
Bacchus is an ardent conservative who - almost without exception - votes conservatively in Congress.
In addition to not liking poker players he also distains marijuana smokers. On June 29 2005 he voted for the increase of funds by another $25 million for anti-marijuana print a TV ads. Talking about your tax dollars getting wasted (pun intended). Not withstanding the fact that his son Warren was arrested for possession of marijuana in 1995.
There is something sexy about the old coot. On the surface he looks clean as a whistle. Dig a little deeper and there's a bad boy who it seems is mighty popular with finance interests. In the 2005-2006 election cycle his top campaign contributors have included the Mortgage Bankers Association of America ($10,000), Wachovia Corporation ($8,000), BellSouth Corporation ($7,500), MBNA Corporation ($7,000), Ernst & Young ($6,500), PricewaterhouseCoopers ($6,500), Independent Community Bankers of America ($6,000), AmSouth Bancorp ($5,400), AFLAC Inc. ($5,000) and Bank of America ($5,000).
I'm no gold digger BUT....
Spencer Bacchus name is derived from the "dispenser of wine and revelry". I kid you not folk!
Bacchus seems to have been formed from the hellenization of the native Italian god Liber, patron of viticulture, to become a Roman version of Dionysos.
Bacchus is associated predominantly with female followers and is also traditionally accompanied by goat-man satyrs who are in a state of almost perpetual sexual arousal. Are you drawing any parallels yet?
Barney Frank - What's not to love about a valiant supporter of online gambling regulation who just happens to have "befriended" a male escort who reportedly ran a "sex-for-hire" service from Congressman Frank's house back in the early 90's. These allegations were later proven to be false. Ironically, it was men's room foot tapper, Idaho Congressman Larry Craig, who demanded Frank be censured from the House of Representatives. Imagine that.
Barney - who's named after a purple dinosaur and is openly gay - has the same type of tastes in guys that I do...only I tend to distance myself from male escorts named Gobie, who I think shares a name with an elastic toy if not mistaken.
There is something about that voice of his that drives this girl mad!
Gambling911.com's own Cuban transgender reporter, Sparky Collins, has a photo of Barney Frank hanging in his office. I am dead serious!
In 1998, Barney founded the National Stonewall Democrats, the national gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Democratic organization. In 2004 and again in 2006, a survey of Capitol Hill staffers published in Washingtonian gave Frank the title of the "brainiest", "funniest", and "most eloquent" member of the House.
Now he has yet another honor bestowed upon him by Yours Truly: "Sexiest". He joins an exclusive club - for which I belong - who are "brainiest", "funniest", "most eloquent" and "sexiest" - six great reasons why he and I are so resembling of one another. I'm bi too so make that eight!
Richard Bruce Cheney - Known better as Dick Cheney. The sole reason why the Vice Presidential election this year is perhaps more important than the actual Presidency in the United States. Seriously, was anyone really worried about Dan Quayle running the country back when George Bush Senior chose him as his running mate? We just laughed. Today we would be utterly terrified. Add to that irony, in 2006, Cheney shot his 78-year-old friend in the face while quail hunting.
Cheney also made VPs coming from obscure states vogue - Wyoming, now Alaska. Am I the only one who thought Alaska was a Canadian Province?
Cindy McCain - I know she's not actually running for President - her husband is - but DAMN WHAT I WOULD DO TO LOOK LIKE HER WHEN I TURN 54! Some say she's more fake than those balloons in my chest - I say, "Jealousy is a red eyed monster!" McCain is chair of Hensley & Co., one of the largest Anheuser-Busch beer distributors in the nation, and an obvious contributor to my alcoholism.
Dickopedia.org points out that, while some flap has arisen about the 18-year discrepancy in Cindy and Jone's ages, she maintains that John McCain isn't old, just fine beech-wood aged.
Condoleezza "Condi" Rice - I am a self-professed "Condi Lover". During her time as Secretary of State, Rice pioneered something called "Transformational Diplomacy," a doctrine in which a stable country is transformed into a bloody, failed state soaked in blood, death and tragedy.
Nevertheless, she does have a sensual romantic side.
At a dinner party while she was National Security Advisor, Rice, who has never been married, referred to George Bush as "my husband". You can't get any more romantic than that.
Or maybe you can.
During a mission to Canada, the only country in the world that still sorta likes us (at least they pretend to), there were stories floating around that Rice had fallen head over heels in love with Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister stud muffin Peter McCay.
George W. Bush - I've had enough of Bush, Dick and Colin after 8 years of feeling like I've been f***** hard by oppressive goons. I know Colin is long gone. So is my husband. But he still festers.
Maybe I'm a hopeless optimistic, but I still find Bush tantalizing to a degree.
My other 5 Top 10 hottest politicians..
Robert Wexler - Democratic Congressman from Florida
Hillary Clinton
Mike Huckabee
Ron Paul
